My Phone Plays the National Anthem!

Although there is a growing epidemic of families who do not own land lines as their house phones, mine family is unfortunately not affected. In fact, at a recent visit to our local Wal-Mart, we purchased a brand new combination caller ID/answering machine/ cordless phone. This upgrade over our old cordless features a new animated voice system and a great selection of ring tones. To my brothers joy, among other choices of ring tones, the National Anthem was present. Being the all time patriot that he is, he swiftly changed the normal ringer to an electronic version of the good old United States of America's National Anthem.

Now don't get me wrong, I support the country as much as the next guy in line, but there is one fatal flaw in my brothers plan to show patriotism through the ringing of our house phone. This flaw being, whenever the phone rings, the entire family feels the need to stand and show respect for the country. That means every time a telemarketer, surveyor, or 'you one a contest' informer calls, we feel the need to rise to our tired feet. Be it while we are watching TV at 10 o'clock at night or eating breakfast at 7 in the morning. I'm just saying, it gets a bit ridiculous.

Okay, maybe we don't all stand every time the phone rings, but we do feel bad for not doing so. I feel like I'm disrespecting my country and the men and women who have fought and died to protect it, every time the phone rings and I don't rise to my feet for the 15 seconds it take for someone to reach the phone and answer it.

Needless to say, tonight is the last night a phone will ring with the National Anthem in this house. I am promptly changing the ringer to 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas.' Yes I am aware that Christmas will not take place for another five months, but I simply can not take the guilt of disrespecting my country at least once every hour during each and every day. For now, I will proudly answer my Christmas themed phone with a Merry Christmas to all those who dare call.

Peace Always!

Please Stop Raining NEPA!

For any of you who live in NEPA you know that all it has been doing for the last month and a half is raining. We have had maybe five full days of good, hot, make you sweat, sunshine. I personally am sick of it. I walk to my classes four days a week and there has been a number of times when I have gotten home and been soaking wet because when I left for school that morning it was nice and sunny so I found no need to grab an umbrella.

As if rain wasn't enough, it has also been cold. I usually have my air conditioner in by the time school ends in early June, but not this year. No, has been rainy and cold for, now, half of the summer. Don't get me wrong. There have been a few, select days that have beautiful and sunny and I am grateful for them. But, by the middle of the summer I, as a pasty, red haired girl with freckles, should be nice and sunburned to the point of near lobster redness. But no, the sun decides to keep hiding behind those mean dark clouds that carry with them evil little drops of liquid bitterness.

Although I am thoroughly pissed with the weather, I can't help but feel that this is somehow a good sign. What I mean by this is that it can't rain forever, and I am going on vacation in mid-August. Therefor, hopefully it won't rain while I'm on vacation. Right?

I feel as though the summer has so far left me with nothing but gloominess and darkness. I don't think its to much to ask for the never ending clouds that pass through our skies week after week to part for some time and let the grasses and trees feel the heat that is often promised by the onset of summer. So I ask one last time: Please stop raining in NEPA! For the sake of me and all things that live here, I am sick of being wet!

Peace, Always!

Wedgie Picking in Public Places

Most of you have seen at least one unfortunate soul out in public, be it walking down the street, or in the mall, or even running along the beach, who obviously has the miss fortune of having a wedgie in public. To those this happens to I have some advise:

• wear underwear that fits
• follow the instructions in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dkXpFYCi3Q
• don't pick it in front of ME!

Now, don't get me wrong, I feel for those of you who experience this misfortune. I was once in the same shoes of frequent public wedgies. However, I do not need to see you shove your grimy fingers into your crack and pull out the prize. People do this in front of me quit often. In fact, so often that I have been forced to devised a series of responses that may be used in conjunction with each other or alone. These are:

• Point and laugh openly (often used on friends)
• Make eye contact and provide a disgusted face (lets the perpetrator know he/she was wrong)
• Quickly walk past the social conduct violator, avoiding eye contact and holding back the puke that is rising in my esophagus (often used on heavy set, bald men)
• Just shake my head in disapproval and swiftly walk in the opposite direction

I know that when you have a wedgie you are desperate to relieve the tension and just pick it. But please, for the good of humanity, find a private place, maybe a restroom stall or a back alley, and pick it there, where no onlookers, such as myself, have to watch in horror as you do the deed and relieve your self.

Peace!

Laughing in Class

Have you ever been sitting in class and think of something that has recently happened, and just started laughing? This happens to me, ALOT! For instance I recently watched this YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QbZ12WRLL0. Now when ever I am in class I just imagine random people doing standing up and running out of the room in a superman costume. Whats worse is, in the psychology class I take this happens to me the most. Yesterday we were talking about depression and such and I just burst out laughing. Now I have to try to explain to my teacher why I think this topic is so funny.

Now, this doesn't always happen in aspects of a YouTube video. Sometimes I just daydream and imagine funny things happening, like a sarcastic answer to a question the professor asks or my best friend tripping over a book about baby names and unknowingly exclaiming "Oh, Baby!" (that might be a 'you had to be there' moment)

What I want to know is if this ever happens to any one else and what exactly are the circumstances? Also, what do people suggest one do to calm these sudden urges to break out in spontaneous laughter?
Peace

Crazy Dreams

Have you ever had a dream and you wake up and you think to your self..."What the Hell?" Ok, so you've been there before. This happens to me virtually every day. I dream about the most random stuff you could ever think of. Most people have dreams about people or events that receintly happened or are soon going to take place in thier lives. Not me! I dream about people I have never seen before and things you wouldn't even imagine.

Take for example last night's dream.... I was running on 'the dike' as its known in this neck of the woods (its just a levve with a running trail on top of it) and there was standing water on both sides (as apossed to the river normally on one). The area in which you could run without getting into water started to narrow and eventually was non existant. Next, i turn around in ankle deep water to see two newspaper reporters standing there, one of which is the father of one of my friends from grade school (so there are some strange exceptions to the stranger rule, but this guy has an awsomly rediculous mustache so naturally he would be in my dream). They start to take my picture along with other runners whom i just realize were running with me the whole time (nothing like being completely oblivious to your surroundings). Then I am abruptly awoken by my mother informing me that i am going to be late for a summer class I am taking.

There you have it one of my numourous, blaitantly random dreams. Of corse the joys of there randomness does not just effect me on some nights, it effects me on all nights. So, what i want to know from you is... do you have any awsomly random dreams and does any one know what these dreams mean? comment please.
peace