Wedgie Picking in Public Places

Most of you have seen at least one unfortunate soul out in public, be it walking down the street, or in the mall, or even running along the beach, who obviously has the miss fortune of having a wedgie in public. To those this happens to I have some advise:

• wear underwear that fits
• follow the instructions in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dkXpFYCi3Q
• don't pick it in front of ME!

Now, don't get me wrong, I feel for those of you who experience this misfortune. I was once in the same shoes of frequent public wedgies. However, I do not need to see you shove your grimy fingers into your crack and pull out the prize. People do this in front of me quit often. In fact, so often that I have been forced to devised a series of responses that may be used in conjunction with each other or alone. These are:

• Point and laugh openly (often used on friends)
• Make eye contact and provide a disgusted face (lets the perpetrator know he/she was wrong)
• Quickly walk past the social conduct violator, avoiding eye contact and holding back the puke that is rising in my esophagus (often used on heavy set, bald men)
• Just shake my head in disapproval and swiftly walk in the opposite direction

I know that when you have a wedgie you are desperate to relieve the tension and just pick it. But please, for the good of humanity, find a private place, maybe a restroom stall or a back alley, and pick it there, where no onlookers, such as myself, have to watch in horror as you do the deed and relieve your self.

Peace!